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This is the first slide to my comic. I have 1 minute before I have to go to class. I shall color on paint later today XD
March 25th, 2009
This is the first slide to my comic. I have 1 minute before I have to go to class. I shall color on paint later today XD
March 24th, 2009
I am ninja kiwi....fear me.
VERY LONG SURVEY
1) Are you in a complicated relationship? You need two people to be in a relationship. but are things complicated? absolutely.
2) Do you hate more than 3 people? No
3) How many houses have you lived in? 2
4) Favorite candy bar? Butterfinger
6) Been in love? I can honestly say yes, but it doesn't matter at the moment.
7) Least favorite school subject? I would have to say Biology
8) How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don't have a clue. Enough of them though.
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Negative
10) Have you ever thrown up in public? In a public bathroom, maybe, I can't remember...
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind: The future.
13) What is your zodiac sign? aquarius
14) What time were you born?8:22pm
15) Do you like beer? Not all that much.
16) Have you made a prank phone call? Sure, seriously, who hasn't?
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? I own no CD's anymore
18.) Are you sarcastic? Highly
19) What are your favorite colors? purple and black
20) How many watches do you own? 2
21) Summer or winter? winter
22) Is anyone in love with you? I thought so...but if someone else is, I would not know now would I?
23) Favorite color to wear? black
24) Pepsi or Sprite? none
26) Where is your second home? Indiana
27) Have you ever slapped someone? yeah
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? 1
31) What was your first pet? Bubbles, a goldfish
32) Where do you want to live when you're older? In the U.S: D.C, Virginia or North Carolina. Abroad: Germany, Slovakia, Russia, or Norway
33) Do looks matter? There has to be a level of attraction, in some aspect.
34) Do you use Chapstick? Only when my lips are chapped
35) Name 2 teachers from high school: Mr. Puskar and Miss VanArsdale
36) American Eagle or Abercrombie? Neither
37) Are you too forgiving? I used to not be, but I fear I have become that was once again.
38) How many children do you want? Ask me after my education is over.
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yup
40) Favorite breakfast meal? Eggs and Biscuits
41) Do you own a gun? yes
42) Ever thought you were in love? thought? no. believe? yes.
44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Went to Permanti brothers with Chris and then walked a cemetary.
45) Olive Garden? Oh my yes.
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? The question is, have you ever been called mommy by a teacher? That was just wrong.
47) Have you ever been in a castle? Yes. Nemacolin.
48) Nicknames? Tina, Spiffy, Spiff-Nut, Geist, Satan
50) Ever been to Kentucky? nope
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?nope
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Yes
53) Ever called somebody Boo? No, I don't listen to hip hop (anyone get the joke?)
54) Do you own a diamond ring? I do...but it has amethyst in it and I don't have the heart to get it from the jewelers.
55) Do you want to witness a tornado? yes
57) Do you like your hair? yes
58) Does anyone have a crush on you? It would be interesting to find out.
60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Finishing first grade.
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? no
62) McDonald's or Wendy's? None, well, Wendy's.
64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Both
65) Favorite physical features of the preferred sex? Eyes, arms and Hair...but really, they have to understand me well more than what they look like.
66) Are you afraid of the dark? No
67) Have you ever eaten paste? i don't think so
68) Do you own a web cam? Yes
69) What do you wear to sleep? T-shirt and PJ pants
70) Ever broke a bone? God yes
71) Are you religious? Define religious? If it means I have my own views and beliefs...then yes.
72) Do you chat on AIM often? Yup
73) Pringles or Lay's? Pringles
74) Have you ever broken someones heart? I think so, much to my regret.
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Full House
77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Sure.
78) Has anyone ever called you a tease? Yes.
79) Do you have a birth mark? Yup. But it only shows up when I'm pissed.
80) Do you own a cell phone? yes
81) Can you cook? yes
82) 2 things that annoy you: Hippies and Stupid People
83) Do you text message often? So so
84) Money or love? love
85) Do you have any scars? Lots
86) What do you want more than anything right now? my damn degree so I can move on.
87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Absolutely!
88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationship, I feel one night stands are...to be elaborated upon seriously, maybe in a later journal.
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Juicy Fruit
90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Sometimes
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? yes.
92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yes
93) Ever had sex in a public place? Perhaps...
94) Who was the last person you said I love you to? Derek... a month ago *sigh*
95) Who was the last person that made you mad? read previous question.
96) Who was the last person that made you cry? read previous question.
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? John
98) Who was the last person that texted you? My mother actually.
99) Who was the last person that called you? Chris
100) Who do you love? My family and friends, and my puppy ^^
1) Are you in a complicated relationship? You need two people to be in a relationship. but are things complicated? absolutely.
2) Do you hate more than 3 people? No
3) How many houses have you lived in? 2
4) Favorite candy bar? Butterfinger
6) Been in love? I can honestly say yes, but it doesn't matter at the moment.
7) Least favorite school subject? I would have to say Biology
8) How many pairs of shoes do you own? I don't have a clue. Enough of them though.
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? Negative
10) Have you ever thrown up in public? In a public bathroom, maybe, I can't remember...
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind: The future.
13) What is your zodiac sign? aquarius
14) What time were you born?8:22pm
15) Do you like beer? Not all that much.
16) Have you made a prank phone call? Sure, seriously, who hasn't?
17) What is the most embarrassing CD you own? I own no CD's anymore
18.) Are you sarcastic? Highly
19) What are your favorite colors? purple and black
20) How many watches do you own? 2
21) Summer or winter? winter
22) Is anyone in love with you? I thought so...but if someone else is, I would not know now would I?
23) Favorite color to wear? black
24) Pepsi or Sprite? none
26) Where is your second home? Indiana
27) Have you ever slapped someone? yeah
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? 1
31) What was your first pet? Bubbles, a goldfish
32) Where do you want to live when you're older? In the U.S: D.C, Virginia or North Carolina. Abroad: Germany, Slovakia, Russia, or Norway
33) Do looks matter? There has to be a level of attraction, in some aspect.
34) Do you use Chapstick? Only when my lips are chapped
35) Name 2 teachers from high school: Mr. Puskar and Miss VanArsdale
36) American Eagle or Abercrombie? Neither
37) Are you too forgiving? I used to not be, but I fear I have become that was once again.
38) How many children do you want? Ask me after my education is over.
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? Yup
40) Favorite breakfast meal? Eggs and Biscuits
41) Do you own a gun? yes
42) Ever thought you were in love? thought? no. believe? yes.
44) What did you do 3 nights ago? Went to Permanti brothers with Chris and then walked a cemetary.
45) Olive Garden? Oh my yes.
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? The question is, have you ever been called mommy by a teacher? That was just wrong.
47) Have you ever been in a castle? Yes. Nemacolin.
48) Nicknames? Tina, Spiffy, Spiff-Nut, Geist, Satan
50) Ever been to Kentucky? nope
51) Do you own something from Banana Republic?nope
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? Yes
53) Ever called somebody Boo? No, I don't listen to hip hop (anyone get the joke?)
54) Do you own a diamond ring? I do...but it has amethyst in it and I don't have the heart to get it from the jewelers.
55) Do you want to witness a tornado? yes
57) Do you like your hair? yes
58) Does anyone have a crush on you? It would be interesting to find out.
60) What were you doing in May of 1994? Finishing first grade.
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? no
62) McDonald's or Wendy's? None, well, Wendy's.
64) Are you closer to your mother or father? Both
65) Favorite physical features of the preferred sex? Eyes, arms and Hair...but really, they have to understand me well more than what they look like.
66) Are you afraid of the dark? No
67) Have you ever eaten paste? i don't think so
68) Do you own a web cam? Yes
69) What do you wear to sleep? T-shirt and PJ pants
70) Ever broke a bone? God yes
71) Are you religious? Define religious? If it means I have my own views and beliefs...then yes.
72) Do you chat on AIM often? Yup
73) Pringles or Lay's? Pringles
74) Have you ever broken someones heart? I think so, much to my regret.
76) Full House or The Brady Bunch? Full House
77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? Sure.
78) Has anyone ever called you a tease? Yes.
79) Do you have a birth mark? Yup. But it only shows up when I'm pissed.
80) Do you own a cell phone? yes
81) Can you cook? yes
82) 2 things that annoy you: Hippies and Stupid People
83) Do you text message often? So so
84) Money or love? love
85) Do you have any scars? Lots
86) What do you want more than anything right now? my damn degree so I can move on.
87) Do you enjoy scary movies? Absolutely!
88) Relationships or one night stands? Relationship, I feel one night stands are...to be elaborated upon seriously, maybe in a later journal.
89) Big Red or Juicy Fruit? Juicy Fruit
90) Do you enjoy greasy food? Sometimes
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? yes.
92) Do you own a box of crayons? Yes
93) Ever had sex in a public place? Perhaps...
94) Who was the last person you said I love you to? Derek... a month ago *sigh*
95) Who was the last person that made you mad? read previous question.
96) Who was the last person that made you cry? read previous question.
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? John
98) Who was the last person that texted you? My mother actually.
99) Who was the last person that called you? Chris
100) Who do you love? My family and friends, and my puppy ^^
okayMarch 23rd, 2009
Hrm. Not sure what to talk about today. I have been reflecting a lot on the things I like to do interests-wise as well as my own personal beliefs and opinions on life. As I am sitting here waiting for my artificial intelligence class to start at 5:45, I find myself thinking about how I ended up at IUP...and in Physics. My entire life I have dedicated to the arts really, I was in art club and every possibly music organization one can think of. I have also always been scientific, almost rather secretly. I would always mess with electronics, build computers, mess with chemisrty kits and erector sets and the like. In 9th grade I remember studying ballistics, and the year before that my science fair project was a sale model of the atomic bomb and how it worked. Meanwhile, with my friends I was designing a videogame and spending a ton of time with the marching band, as well as in the auditorium as a theatre tech. Its rather strange how I chose this... probably because everyone I know that trying to make a career out of a hobby is a rought thing to deal with, especially when everybody you know is trying for the same thing. I love physics though, it is the one science I can truly relate to, especially because of my absolute love and fascination with roller coasters. I guess I can see where I decided on physics now. It is intellectually challenging and the reward for solving difficult puzzles to me is worth it. That, and physics is slowly unlocking the secrets of the universe. Also, I can still be creative and one day have the drive and power to pursue that which is my life goal. 0.o Rollercoaster Tycoon.....
March 12th, 2009
I just can't get over the feeling of absolute emptiness. Just when I think it is getting better, it falls apart again. Why did this stuff have to happen? Is this supposed to be this way? I feel so hated by everyone.... its like, you walk into a room and you can automatically tell that everyone is judging you, and that somehow you have done something so wrong to them that their glances result in a sharp pain in your chest. This is the way I feel. I can't eat, I can't sleep. IUP is getting darker by the millisecond. Derek has shaken my entire being.... I am so unbelievably lost and I wish I knew what to do. I wish I could just talk to him and really know what is going on. I know he is happy without me in his life, and I think I am realizing that he may not love me anymore. It makes me wonder if he ever really did. I hope so...because I really loved him. I have been in a decent amount of longer relationships, and this one really felt right. I don't know anymore. I don't know what is influencing this....it isn't normal. I guess I pushed him away. That was never my intention. Part of me wants him back, the other part is very afraid of the situation. I am so torn. I want to never come back to IUP. I considered Steph, Ashley and Jaron to be my friends... Perhaps Jaron might still consider me a friend, but I have not seen or heard from Steph or Ashley...well, I never really did, but at least they acknowledged me on occasion. I guess my feelings were true for these past 2 years...I was a burden and they didn't really like me. God, I don't know. I just want everything to be okay and I want to be happy again.
I really must be that horrible of a person to have this happen. I am so sorry..... so very very sorry....
I really must be that horrible of a person to have this happen. I am so sorry..... so very very sorry....
March 9th, 2009
Alright, so I have having a really tough time right now dealing with school and the semi-break up thing I had with Derek. School has turned into one massive scramble to the finish line for me, and it cannot come soon enough. I have been studying for the GREs, fighting to be able to freaking graduate and looking for options after my undergraduate career. I am pretty sure that I want to go to grad school somewhere in the D.C. or Virginia area. I really love the environment down there, it is one of my favorite places in the United States to be. The classes I have right now are kind of interesting, but at the same time very mundane and making me feel like some sort of drone. I really can't stand it anymore. I have to leave. This past week I had spring break, and even though I have turned into some sort of insomniac, souless, depressed wretch of a human, I still found an extraordinary amount of comfort and happiness from my family. They are very worried about me and this upsets me terribly, but time will heal all wounds....I just wish time would happen a bit faster now....
As for the Derek situation, I think I have over-analyzed it to the point of murder. At first it started out as "I think we have compatibility issues" to "There is something very wrong with me and it really has nothing to do with you" to "It still has nothing to do with you but everything you do is annoying me severely and I am going to act like you are biggest inconvenience in the world." So, I don't know anymore. I miss him a lot, and I wish I could help him, but nothing I do seems to. After he ruined my Valentine's Day and Birthday, then three weeks of treating me kinda civil, kinda not, lying to me about WoW, not wanting to talk about things....whatever...just whatever. I can't will him back, nor do I get the chance to prove to him that there really aren't any major compatibility issues. At this point though, I am giving up. What man buys their girlfriend a ring with amethyst and diamonds and then after a stupid fight about "Not caring about being late for things" decides they have compatibility issues. To further that, he decides to bring it up on valentine's day. How awful is that? Look, I know he is not one for romance, but he was a great guy to me and he fucking knew it. He said, even when we were fighting that I was the best thing that ever happened to him...he has always said that. If I was the best thing that ever happened to him, why has he decided to torture me. I can't help but think he is being influenced by a particular group of people I thought might be my friends....
Maybe I am wrong about what is going on, maybe he really is having some sort of break down. Well he went and gave me one too and for that I will not forgive him for a very very long time....
I think I need to see a freakin' shrink.
Seriously.
I am totally hating my life right now.
Writing about it though does make me feel a bit better :)
As for the Derek situation, I think I have over-analyzed it to the point of murder. At first it started out as "I think we have compatibility issues" to "There is something very wrong with me and it really has nothing to do with you" to "It still has nothing to do with you but everything you do is annoying me severely and I am going to act like you are biggest inconvenience in the world." So, I don't know anymore. I miss him a lot, and I wish I could help him, but nothing I do seems to. After he ruined my Valentine's Day and Birthday, then three weeks of treating me kinda civil, kinda not, lying to me about WoW, not wanting to talk about things....whatever...just whatever. I can't will him back, nor do I get the chance to prove to him that there really aren't any major compatibility issues. At this point though, I am giving up. What man buys their girlfriend a ring with amethyst and diamonds and then after a stupid fight about "Not caring about being late for things" decides they have compatibility issues. To further that, he decides to bring it up on valentine's day. How awful is that? Look, I know he is not one for romance, but he was a great guy to me and he fucking knew it. He said, even when we were fighting that I was the best thing that ever happened to him...he has always said that. If I was the best thing that ever happened to him, why has he decided to torture me. I can't help but think he is being influenced by a particular group of people I thought might be my friends....
Maybe I am wrong about what is going on, maybe he really is having some sort of break down. Well he went and gave me one too and for that I will not forgive him for a very very long time....
I think I need to see a freakin' shrink.
Seriously.
I am totally hating my life right now.
Writing about it though does make me feel a bit better :)
depressedSo, I have had a live journal for a long time, but somewhere along the line I ended my account. Stupid me. I shouldn't have because now I really need a way to outlet the crap that has been going on in my life and writing about it may make for some eventual happiness....
If anyone ever finds my old journal, under "darkaisia" let me know. Ya never know what you are gonna find on the internet.
So...my life in a nutshell...one giant fuck fest. I plan to elaborate later as I have a class in a few minutes.
If anyone ever finds my old journal, under "darkaisia" let me know. Ya never know what you are gonna find on the internet.
So...my life in a nutshell...one giant fuck fest. I plan to elaborate later as I have a class in a few minutes.
